♥'s for Hobo's

It’s about 10:30 & I just woke up from a bad dream. I believe this dream took place between the hours of 7:30am when Shawn woke me up to tell me he was going to work & the time I woke up.

In this dream, Shawn had broken up with me, but he was living in my old house (the one I lived in with my dad when I was younger). My mom lived there, & it turned out Shawn was going out with someone I was related to/hated. I remember seeing her face when I was dreaming & remembering that she was someone I hated but apparently she was “nicer” now that she was with Shawn. I was sleeping in my bed, but in the dream it no longer belonged to me. I was in my old room, but again, it no longer belonged to me. It had the same layout of furniture as I had before. It still had the red shelved bureau & it was messy, just like I always had it. I felt confused & betrayed by this fact. I got up (in the dream) & got dressed because the whole reason I was there in the first place was to do some kind of work (which escapes me now). I walk out to the front & look outside. Almost all my clothes are out there covered in dirt. I recognize one of my dresses (with the polka dots & paisley swirls) in the dirt pile. This confirmed that was my clothes. Then I spoke to the mom (who didn’t look like my mom at the time) & the son. This part is a little weird… I was looking for the girl who basically stole Shawn from me & the son was doing something with a gun. They were telling him to stop shooting or he’s going to start something bad. Then a pile of bullet boxes show up out of nowhere & he shoots them, causing a (very slow spreading) fire. I guess they had wanted that all along & calmly started picking up items. I went to take tons of things (could be considered stealing) from them & the mom said “You can take whatever you want.” I saw some pictures & my mom was in them. All of sudden, that woman WAS my mom. (no reaction in the dream). I went back into the bedroom I started out in. Shawn was in there with his new girlfriend. The red bureau was no longer there & it was now my mom’s old dresser set. The girlfriend said to me that they had given her and Shawn a letter to give to me from my dad & she guessed she could give it to me now. When I asked where it was, she said it was too high up for her or me to get. Instead of Shawn just getting it, he picked her up & lifted her to get the car which was above the door. This action really disgusted me. She gave me the letter, which I opened & read (but I don’t remember). I then started just raging & beating up the girl. But she got smaller & smaller & smaller while I was yanking her hair and throwing her up against the wall. She kept shrinking until she was a small child with curly afro style hair (but was not black). Shawn did nothing to stop me, he just sat there. I looked over at him & asked him “Why?” I looked back at the girl & she was taking off her clothes so I had to put them back on for her. I then noticed she had a penis. I looked at him & I said “What?? You are with her & she has a penis??!” He said something like “It’s not real” & I started arguing that I saw something on Grey’s Anatomy about how children that have small organs & limbs grow a penis. He said something about not sticking it in there & I said how there was only a butt to stick it in. & then he said something (I’m trying to remember the exact quote) like “You know you ruined the last relationship with the fart.” And I said “Really? So I can’t fart now? You’d rather my stomach hurt or feel the pain of trying to keep it in?” As he was thinking about it, & I was trying to find the child girl enemy thing a shirt, I woke up.

(I would like to say, before anyone tries to say it & be funny, this had nothing to do with CP or perversion with children.)

Thoughts?

I wonder if any of the people I am following are ever going to post/blog anything that they have done themselves (besides the obvious people who have already, don’t get defensive, I know who you are). I just prefer not seeing tons of reblogged things. I’m following you because I want to see YOUR things, not someone elses. Or else I would just follow them. I know there is an option to unfollow, I just don’t want to have to use it.

Not that I didn’t know before, because I think it every free moment my mind finds to wander to it, but I am so in love. I am so happy. No, I don’t have a job yet but I know I will soon. And it’s very possible that today I have found a PERFECT job, that is almost made JUST. FOR. ME. (no specifics yet, no jinxing this!)

But what I meant was I am finally so very content. I have found someone that is opposite me in way that makes us perfect together. Before, I wanted someone cookie cutter perfect. And I actually thought I had that before. I wanted someone the same religion as me, vowing to never date someone who wasn’t. I wanted someone who had been perfect their life before me (not that I was perfect, and no one is, but back to the point). I had someone close to that. Some who loved me & only wanted me. It was a true love that just turned comfortable and mundane. It’s sad to hear, but it happens. He loved me, but he did not give me things I needed. Yes, there are other things you need other than love. But they are apart of love.

Shawn has given me things that I did not have before. He encourages me to do my passions. He supports my dreams. He tells me everyday that I am the most beautiful/gorgeous/irristeable person he has ever laid eyes on. That I am his soulmate. He protects me and he betters me as a person, as I do for him. He’s not what I would have wanted years ago. But I was a child then. He’s not only want I WANT now, but something I need. He’s funny & intellegent & helpful & good hearted (with a mean streak) & handsome super freaking hot, & amazing & all mine.

When I look at him, my heart pounds. When I think about him, my heart melts. Sappy, but it’s love, not just a glossy sticky ooze coming from the tree that is my heart.

He just welcomed me at the door with “Honey I’m home.” & a million kisses. Pulling away only to ask me “Do you know how much I love you?”

I am lucky to have him in my life.

I’m sure that Labyrinthx’s post about “Chivarly” was based off my “twitter rant” about chivarly and the lack of it. If you remember, twitter only lets you have 140 characters, so it’s hard to tell a “story” per se.

You see, I was in a small area. A small, mechanic smelling area where there were only 2 seats available to sit in. So there is one woman sitting in the other. Do you, as a man who does not know the other woman that is there 1. sit down or 2. offer the seat to the woman stranger?

That is also part of chivarly. It’s not expected but at the same time, when it’s not given, it’s almost kind of rude.

And I don’t look at it as it’s because I am a woman. It’s because I have bad knees. But also, as I know how I am, I am not going to ask for the seat, because that would just seem rude of me. So I stand for 20-30 before I leave because there was no way I was waiting more than that for the guy to show up to have to wait for him to finish with the two people before me.

I know we all have weird schedules. Some of us get up early (for you: 4-5am?). Some of us go to bed late (me.. sometimes 2-3am) Sometimes we have weird days off (you -???. Me - everyday until I get a job). Sometimes, we have a precise schedule (Shawn - Mon - Fri working 8:30-5:30 but going to bed at 10pm waking at 5pm).

I know we don’t know each other well. In fact, our only encounters of one another were when you would stomp your way up the stairs in front of my door, and my door just happened to be open. That’s not often. We didn’t talk until your mom actually stopped me while I had a HUGE bag (read that as OMG SUPER FREAKING HEAVY PLASTIC BAG FULL OF GROCERIES) in my arms as I was leaving my car to empty it inside. She kept talking and talking and talking to me about little details of my life that I wasn’t really ready to offer. Then you came down. I saw how your lower half of your body was much more… rotund than your top. That’s ok! I of all people understand how different people are when it comes to body types and sizes.

But what you don’t understand, as most larger people don’t, is that you WALK REALLY HARD. My ceiling creaks when you walk. It’s as if it’s calling out a loud and whiney prayer that it won’t break when you pass from the kitchen to the bathroom.

What you don’t understand is that when you bang, what I can only assume is your cat liter box, loudy in the bathroom at 11pm, I can hear that. I can hear when your barreling down the hallways vaccuming the bits and pieces (do you not own a broom?) 30 minutes later. I can hear when you’re walking back and forth in your bedroom moving things at midnight when I am sitting in bed next to Shawn while he’s sleeping (like a mummy, btw, with his hands clasped at his chest. It’s pretty darn cute) watching “How I met your mother.” And it went on until about 2am. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

And now, at 5pm, I hear you doing something. I don’t know what exactly, but the floor is creaking above me back and forth, and there is a bunch of tumbling.

Listen, I don’t blame you for all of this. Aprtments are faultly and sometimes have bad insulation, even more so in the area’s between each floor. But come on. You don’t have to march through each room. I am sure I am not super quiet when I am shouting on my show. I’m sure sometimes I drop things and you can hear it, too. But this is simply a problem of you not really… being one of those people who “wear” their weight well. There are some who do, and some who don’t. I wish you would just “not wear it well” when everyone is asleep.

http://anaface.com/

Whatcha think?